Doubt

John 20: 8-9
Then the other disciple, who had reached the tomb first, also went in, and he saw and believed; for as yet they did not understand the Scripture, that he must rise from the dead.

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After Jesus telling his disciples on multiple occasions that he must be tortured, killed, buried and resurrected, they didn’t quite get it. They didn’t fully understand. Even after Jesus did rise from the grave, they weren’t camped outside of his grave, waiting expectantly to see their teacher conquer death. They didn’t believe. They didn’t understand.
And really, who can blame them?

There’s a problem that develops after you’ve been a follower of Jesus for a while. Call it pride, call it over-learning, call it whatever you want. At the bottom of it it’s the thoughts and feelings of, “I’ve heard this already,” or, “I learned this a long time ago,” or, “I can’t believe they acted that way,” or, “I can’t believe they didn’t have faith.” Somehow, we come to think if we were in the shoes of Peter or Thomas that we wouldn’t have acted like they did; we would have believed everything Jesus said without question. Somehow, we come to think that if we were in Judas’ shoes, there’s no way we would have betrayed Jesus.

But one of the points of fallen humanity, is that we’re all fallen. Some people look at the Jewish people throughout the Bible and say, “they are the most stiff-necked people on the planet,” but it doesn’t matter who God chose to be his people, anyone would have gone astray and disobeyed God. Also, really think about the resurrection. I mean, really think about it. Prior to Jesus’ resurrection there may have been instances where people consulted the dead through spiritual mediums, or famous stories of people being brought back to life; but when in history has someone ever claimed that they would be arrested, tortured, killed, buried, and then raised again after being dead for two nights? When has someone ever predicted their own resurrection from death? No single person on the planet could make that statement unless they were planning an elaborate false death plot; in which case they wouldn’t truly have been resurrected.

Resurrection from the dead is unheard of. It just doesn’t happen. But somehow, John believes it; even though he doesn’t yet understand that Scripture says Jesus will be raised from death, he believes that it’s happened. So even though he doesn’t quite grasp the concept, he believes. He hasn’t heard a sermon or convincing argument for it, he just believes. But it’s not blind faith. It isn’t believing “just because.” John believes based on who he’s seen and known Jesus to be. At this point, he’s unable to point to any scripture in the Old Testament that says the messiah will be resurrected; but he knows who the messiah is. He’s seen him do miraculous things. He’s heard him say amazing things. He’s had private, personal conversations with him. He’s left everything to follow him because he genuinely believed Jesus was the promised Christ. And now that he sees an empty tomb, where he knows Jesus was buried, he believes.

But I’ll bet that John also had doubt, even though he believed. It’s a funny thing, but faith and doubt exists in us at the same time, at any given time. The reason we only need a little bit of faith (like the size of a mustard seed), is because there is a very big God. If you have a lot of faith and a big God, you’ll see God do big things. But even if you have a little faith, you still have a big God, and you’ll still see God do big things. Everyone has doubt, and it’s okay. God is patient and merciful with doubt (rebellion is a different story). Even if you have doubts, take heart in the faith you do have.