The Humble Heart of a Nervous Priest

Ezra 8:21-23
        [21] Then I proclaimed a fast there, at the river Ahava, that we might humble ourselves before our God, to seek from him a safe journey for ourselves, our children, and all our goods. [22] For I was ashamed to ask the king for a band of soldiers and horsemen to protect us against the enemy on our way, since we had told the king, “The hand of our God is for good on all who seek him, and the power of his wrath is against all who forsake him.” [23] So we fasted and implored our God for this, and he listened to our entreaty.

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This is such an interesting passage, full of honesty. Ezra is a man skilled in the Law of God. In Persia, he’s considered a foremost expert. He has the favor of the king. And yet, because of the daunting task set before Ezra (to go and teach the people at the newly constructed Temple in Jerusalem) he has this conflict within him. He says that he was ashamed to ask the King for soldiers to accompany them on their way to Jerusalem, because he had specifically told the king that his God was so mighty that he will protect and guide them to safety. He tells the king that God will be their army as they travel, acting in powerful wrath against any enemies.

Now Ezra is out on the road, and I can just picture him wondering if that was something he shouldn’t have said; now he’s thinking, “It would be nice to have some soldiers, some special forces (like the ones with the scary masks in “300”; you know, ‘cause the Spartans fought the Persians. It’s a very historically accurate film) with us priests who have all this gold and silver out here on the dangerous open road.”

So he calls for fasting and prayer, begging God to be their protector. He prays that the things he told the king, perhaps on impulse or lack of experience, will be proven true. That the Lord will show himself faithful in this and indeed protect this convoy and their cargo on their way to Jerusalem.

There are times I’ve given sermons or prayed with people, and I’ve said that God would do some amazing things. Or I’ve cast some vision in a ministry and told everyone that the Lord would come through and provide all needs and see everything through to the end. And then I’ve gone home and gotten nervous. I’ve wondered whether I should have said those things. I’ve thought I’d made mistakes and for some reason, God wouldn’t do the things I’d said he would do.

And to be honest, sometimes he didn’t do the things I said he would do. But Ezra shows that despite our feelings or our faith, a humbled heart before God and earnestly seeking him is the key. Certainly, God is able to do all things. Paul says in Ephesians that he is able to do abundantly more than we can ask or imagine (Ephesians 3:20). Whether I am confident or doubtful, I need to have the heart of Ezra and be humble before the Lord and earnestly and honestly seek his will and guidance.

It’s the humble that God gives grace to (Proverbs 3:34; quoted by James and Peter).