Kingdom Life

1 Timothy 1:3-5
3 As I urged you upon my departure for Macedonia, remain on at Ephesus so that you may instruct certain men not to teach strange doctrines, 4 nor to pay attention to myths and endless genealogies, which give rise to mere speculation rather than furthering the administration of God which is by faith. 5 But the goal of our instruction is love from a pure heart and a good conscience and a sincere faith.
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Timothy is urged here to walk in his spiritual gifting and fulfill the role God has given him. As a teacher, he is first instructed to teach on a small level (one on few), rather than focusing on weekly sermons. The purpose is to instruct other teachers not to teach other doctrines, and to avoid being caught up in the meaningless discussions of myths and genealogies. Meaning, there is value in those things, but the speculation of them does not further God’s administration. It’s fruitless discussion (v.6).
Then Paul says that the goal of teaching, of being a teacher in God’s administration by faith, is love from a pure heart and a good conscience and sincere faith. This shows me that the goal of being a teacher in God’s kingdom is to transform yourself. It’s not merely passing off information for the spiritual transformation of others, but the very goal is to become more loving yourself, to act out this love from a pure heart, with a good and clean conscience, coming from a sincere faith in and of yourself.
It reminds me of Jesus’ words to care for the log in my own eye, rather than pointing out the speck in other’s eyes. This hits me today because too often, including today, I find myself teaching with everyone else in mind. Yet God is clear, teach to transform yourself first. Then teach others in a smaller setting. Then teach to the crowds.
I find all of these things justified in Jesus, who himself was a rabbi. In his life (and in who he is), he kept his focus on his relationship with God the Father and kept himself from sin and darkness. Because of this, he was qualified to teach the truth of God. This is why Paul says that he is not qualified to teach on his own, but because Jesus has considered him faithful (v.12), and Jesus has “qualified” him (Colossians 1:12). Any teacher of God’s Word is qualified to do so only because Jesus alone is qualified, and he selects whom he will.
Jesus also taught his own disciples more often than he taught the crowds. He took advantage of ordinary moments and used them to teach his disciples, and to teach his closest three: Peter, James, and John. When Jesus did teach the crowds, it usually came from lessons he taught his disciples; and he would reveal deeper meaning to his disciples after teaching the crowds.
So it leads me to ask myself: who do I teach more, the crowds or disciples? As I prepare sermons, even today, I’m confronted with the fact that I tend to have the “everyone else” attitude. Jesus, thank you for revealing this, and please forgive my pride. I remember the early days of my faith, where my own growth and knowledge and learning was above everything else, and my opportunities to teach were coming out of my life being genuinely changed and transformed.
Lord, please guide me back to that place, that I may rid myself of this fog I am in, where I qualify myself as a teacher and disciple. It’s all in you. It’s only in you that I have eternal meaning. I want to walk forward as a disciple, as a white belt with the right attitude, rather than a black belt with an entitled heart.